Most weeks my kids and I run next door to help our neighbor for about fifteen minutes. She is in a wheelchair, and it is sometimes difficult to understand what she is saying. And my boy socializes beautifully with her. He says good morning. He exuberantly tells her about his latest lego creation. He is not awkward with her as I'm sure many adults are. Our time with her is a blessing to our family. It teaches my boys that folks who look and sound different are still just folks. It reminds me to be thankful each day for my health and mobility. Not to mention the fact that she and I laugh together a lot over the antics of the wee ones. It's good to laugh.
Wednesday a friend needed some childcare for a dentist appointment and I said I would gladly watch her absolutely sweet, amiable eight month old boy. When she arrived to drop him off, Luke was reading in his room. After she left, I carried Little Man into Luke's room to let Luke know that our guest had arrived. These two spent the remaining forty-five minutes interacting. Luke got down on the floor with this guy, brought him toys, talked to him, danced for him, and was overall simply adorable.
Here are my two favorite pics from our time with Little Man:
Today is another day when we have folks joining our lives. The three youngest kids in the family that provides west coast cousins for my kids are here today. No, we are not related by blood. We don't really need to be. The love of Christ unites our family with theirs. It's more than enough.
So, while ten year old boy and eight year old girl finished up school in the living room, Luke, already done with school, read to three year old boy on the couch.
I seriously teared up watching these two. It was not long ago that Toddler Luke was read to by members of this family, all homeschooled themselves. It never occurred to any of them (or to my boy this morning) that a younger child was beneath them. A playmate is a playmate. If I'm in the second grade and this person is only three, it just means I have to alter my play a little to better include him. It does not mean that I exclude him.
Isn't this true socialization? Teaching kids that barriers of age and ability (or any other "barriers" we encounter) are actually not important? We include people. We love people. We welcome people. In my years of public education I did not see these concepts well demonstrated by students and even some teachers. I saw cliques and groups treating individuals poorly based on some dividing factor they deemed insurmountable. Really?
Before you argue that the fourteen year old is radically different than the seven year old, I will add that I witness homeschooled teens coming alongside smaller people with more grace and patience than some moms I know (including myself at times).
Way back in the day, I had a saying in my classroom. "Everybody is cool and nobody is cooler." It was my way of trying to level the playing field in my room. It didn't change much about the culture of junior high, but it gave me something to say when I saw kids socializing in destructive ways. I realized something today. My children believe this. They don't look at the world and think so-and-so is the cool kid and so-and-so is the not cool kid, while desperately hoping to fall on the right side of the elusive cool line themselves.
Don't get me wrong. My children are destined to have some definitively uncool moments. They are homeschooled, people! Other kids are not always hip to kids who don't embrace the culture of cool. Kids will say mean things, but I'm guessing these moments will not define my boys' childhoods. Their everyday lives are filled with adults and kids who help them understand their worth as they love and serve and live in community. As an adult, I still experience the small-minded comments of some, and I have the choice to dwell on that garbage or let go of it. I'm guessing that the socialization of homeschooling will prepare my kids to differentiate between those interactions worth savoring and those worthy of the burn pile.
So, what about socialization? If by that you mean the Second Grade Hive Mind that deems that kid's clothing awesome but this kid's clothing dorky, I'm not interested. I'll take my guys, dressed in sweats, oblivious to fashion and most other cultural constructs, loving their neighbors, thinking it's cool to play with babies and read to their three year old friends. Check back with me in about a decade and I'll let you know how this grand experiment has turned out. :-)
